Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Dungeon Siege III

First, let me put on my pointiest 'Yahtzee' cap of cynicism. Ok done, now to tell you about the game...

'Dungeon Siege III is shit! The End.' Thank you for reading my wonderfully insightful, and completely accurate review. Ok, to be fair I only played five minutes of it. To be fair, I only WANTED to play five minutes of it. It's action RPG by numbers style must be aimed at those who cant count past 4, because that's about as many buttons as you'll need.

On a tri screen 6020x1080 setup with 2 x GTX 480's at the beck and call, the game dipped to 30fps the minute any semblance of interesting lighting effects perchanced to cross the screen. Not that it looked any better than it would on an Xbox 360 mind you. Aim controls were designed for you to mash at, which is rather annoying as I chose Katarina, who seemed more at home shooting barrels for loot, than actually aiming at those trying to stab her in the face. Views come in two flavors; kinda close, slow and annoying OR far away, slow and annoying... and the few times I did get a glimpse of things off in the distance, it looked like someone spilt a box of duplo on my doona cover.

The only good parts about this game is the fact that it ran in tri screen mode without the need for me to call upon voodoo shaman and it was Xbox controller enabled. Both of which I consider STOCK F**KING STANDARD. Speaking of settings, would you like to change your keyboard controls? Well too bad! You can't!! 'Death to the demoness Allegra Geller'... ah I mean SHITTY CONSOLE PORTS!!!